Frivolous Lives, Vol. I: Difference between revisions

{{quote | <poem> {{#invoke: ColorParse | parse |{&amp;CUutut the Boorish (845 - 838 PP)}

Following the regicide of Mehmet I, Qud inherited its first foreign-born ruler. It is the belief of some that nurture is the mother of nicety, and that endowed with the proper tutelage anyone may come to cultivate the self-possession of a rightful gentleman. In Uutut the Boorish we observe this hypothesis disproved. Upon settling in to his recently-razed capital of Morshershire, Uutut installed several local aristocrats to positions of power in his court. By year's end, he had slaughtered them all. At every turn in the labyrinth of diplomacy in which Uutut had found himself, he chose instead to smash through the walls. This doctrine of carnage actually served Uutut well for several years; the blue-blooded water barons were terrified of him, the kings of his rival barbarian clans were satisfied with pillaging the outskirts of Qud, and even the Sons of Man kept to themselves in their stronghold at Oudin. For all the boorish king's might, however, he was not immune to poisonous gas. It was with this knowledge that Wysterwort DCXLVIII was able to win the throne and inaugurate the first (and only) plant dynasty in Qud's history.}} </poem>}}

Upon hearing the news of the king's death, Uutut's political adversaries cheered Wysterwort as a hero. They were soon disabused. Whereas Uutut was known to vanquish anyone who opposed him, Wysterwort did not bother to reckon that distinction. For those that did survive the plant-king's fickle expulsions of lethal gas, they found themselves subjects to rather odd rules of law. For instance, in 837 PP, Wysterwort mandated that humanoid babes were to be nursed with wine instead of their mothers' milk. In the following year, he commissioned a minstrel to author a musical play. The plant-king was so delighted with the result that he commanded all of his subjects to learn the various roles of the play and to alternate performing it nightly in their respective villages. For the five years of his reign, Wysterwort's eccentricities were humored amidst a backdrop of famine, disease, and poisonous gas. In the winter of 833 PP and for reasons undocumented, the accomplished weed fell into a deep depression, and before the winter solstice had passed he strangled himself. He was survived by his heir Wysterwort DCXLIX.

Wysterwort averred that history would judge him kindly, and it has. While it is true that more people perished under his reign than any of his predecessors' and that he accomplished very little of lasting historical value, one can only fathom how unpleasant it must be to live in such close proximity to so many humanoids for so long. Indeed, it is a wonder the poor king did not take his own life sooner.}}</poem>}}

{{quote | <poem> {{#invoke: ColorParse | parse |{&amp;CWysterwort DCXLIX (833 - 833 PP)}

Wysterwort DCXLIX possessed no interest in ruling over a humanoid kingdom, and he abdicated mere hours after inheriting the throne.